Getting by on Your Looks with Lee Van Cleef

 

I value uniqueness.  I value peculiarity.  That’s why I admire the actor Lee Van Cleef.  He was ugly, but he was oh-so-cool.

Whether he was exacting revenge on a gang he was once a part of or in a showdown against a man with a “guitar gun”, I loved it.

I even enjoyed watching him track down Asian women with microscopic tattoos on their butts that double as pieces to a treasure map (Extra points if you’ve seen that one!).

Those odd Spaghetti Westerns wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting if his unique mug weren’t in them.

I believe our society would be better off if we valued uniqueness over physical beauty.

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Why Tarzan is a Great Character

I was dirty, sweaty and bleeding.   A trickle of blood ran down my leg into my sock.

It shouldn’t have been this difficult, but it was.  How could I not be able to do something so simple as change a flat tire?  And how did I cut my knee in the process?

I had to admit defeat at the hands of two mangled lugnuts.  They even left a broken tire iron in their wake.  I tucked my tail between my legs and called AAA.

Once in a while, I come across certain tasks that, as a man, I should be able to do, but I come up empty.  I know that manhood consists of more than possessing certain skills.  Manhood is about character.

But I also know that men sometimes yearn to be a man’s man, to use their muscle, to be self- reliant, to be tough, to kick a little ass.  That’s why Tarzan is such an appealing character.

Before I read any of the Edward Rice Burroughs books, I thought the character was silly.  He was a gimmick, a guy raised by apes that swung from the trees and yodeled.  Nothing more.

Luckily,  I bought an old paperback copy of Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar: The Jungle Secret of the Lost Atlantis.  It had a cool Frank Frazetta cover and I needed a break from my steady diet of hard boiled detective novels.

I came to see why Tarzan has stood the test of time.  He taps into the male desire for a more primitive manhood.  Put down the Frappacino and iPhone!  Pick up a spear and knife!

The second chapter of the book had me hooked.  Here’s a sample line that helps explain who Tarzan is:

He ate burnt flesh when he would have preferred it raw and unspoiled, and he brought down game with arrow or spear when he would far rather have leaped upon it from ambush and sunk his strong teeth in its jugular….”

I was inthralled, but it also got me thinking.

What if Tarzan was brought to the modern world?  What if an urban man decided to survive like a man of the jungle?

Don’t worry. You won’t find me spearing the neighbor’s cat for my next meal.  That’s a little too crazy.  I did, however, write a novella about a guy who did become a primitive man.

The Urban Hunter is available for purchase or borrow at Amazon.

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